Emphasize the autonomy, mastery, and purpose of the student.

WHAT IF STUDENTS HAD A FIVE LEGGED STOOL?

Let's pick a place to begin:  the student's twelfth birthday.  What if each student was met on his or her twelfth birthday by a support team of five people?  Why five?  It's a place to start the thinking.  One of the objectives of the meeting is to get the student and the support team all on the same page.  A key process barrier to avoid is the temptation to make these meetings "cookie-cutter," no offense, but much like mandated IEP meetings have become over the years.  The point is to see the student as an individual, needing and receiving individual attention.

Let's acknowledge that the student may have become jaded by the age of twelve.  Year after year, adults in his or her life may have been saying one thing and doing another.  For example, even in the most consistent and supportive environments, children learn that adults do not always follow through on what they claim to expect.  Adults can not only be manipulated by children, but systematically, children move to the next grade each year as they age.  Consider the proposition that in the mind of a twelve year old, adults are phony and the system they represent is a fraud.  No, we are not suggesting a system of retention, but rather, a support system that guides and reinforces achievement.  Not just achievement defined by "standards," achievement defined by the autonomy, mastery, and purpose of the student.

Let's consider the birthday meeting as a kind of rite of passage, an official guidepost in the student's path to adulthood.  Recognizing the student as unique and the system now  flexible, not rigid, we have a "whole child" conversation.  Through coaching and counseling language and actions, the team of six, including the student, revisits the path to this point and the path ahead. Again, emphasizing the autonomy, mastery, and purpose of the student.

Great meetings do not just happen and meetings with twelve year olds take preparation.  Let's begin with how to prepare the student.  First, none of the participants can be strangers.  The student must have had some prior interaction with each adult, even if it was only a conversation about hobbies.  Preferably, all or most of the adults in the meeting, on the team, will be readily seen as mentors in the life of the student.

In a future post, meeting possibilities.  Think about the power of a five legged stool.